fear

The worst fear is not the kind that paralyzes you.

It is not the kind that makes you choke on bile and irregular heartbeats.

The worst fear is not kicking and screaming, nor sobbing or running.

It is not the kind that explodes in your stomach while you smile politely and your eyes dart around to find the exits.

It is not the kind that shows itself in phrases like, “where are you going?” or “please, don’t leave.”

It is not the kind that eats you alive during radio silence from someone you love.

The worst kind of fear is one that imbeds itself in your spine. It’s the one that takes hold of everything you do and moves you like a marionette while you are distracted by emotions like excitement, lust, contentedness, happiness, guilt, shame, or love.

The worst kind of fear is one you don’t know is there. The one that ruins your life but tricks you into thinking it does not exist.

The worst kind of fear comes from acting through fear, without ever once being afraid.

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