speak up

Sometimes, I think, you assume my hesitation or contemplation to mean that I do not agree with what you’ve just said. Especially regarding your feelings for me.

You change the subject awfully quickly. But maybe you do not know that I do not know how to phrase how important you are to me. It’s not just romance or friendship or lust. It’s the distinct desire to share a life with you in any capacity. To be inseparably and intimately intertwined. How can you just say that to someone? I know I’m sounding crazy…

I’m unsure how to express this over casual drinks, where my fear of intimacy doesn’t even allow me to make eye contact with you. I wish I had though, a long time ago. I guess I can only write about it.

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