the worst month of my life

August was good to you

The words you once spoke are fake to me now.

“It’s always been you”. Did I imagine that?

“It would be different if you weren’t leaving”. I think I remember this one. Although there’s an 8 month span where I’m not sure when you said it.

“It was planned before you told me”. This one was confusing, why would that matter? Do I still mean something more to you?

“If you still love me in two years, I’ll drop everything to be with you”. This one, this one seems like an absolute lie. I wonder if you even remember saying it. My arms were wrapped around your neck on my porch on a clear July night, quite romantic actually in a desperate kind of way. I wonder if you know I remember. I wish I didn’t; It’s my favorite delusion, and also the reason I am woken up by my own sobs at night.

All of these words are fake to me now. I am so very far away. You have a picket fence life with a picket fence girl, which is confusing, because I don’t think you’re yet a picket fence man. I guess I was wrong. However, this does not come as a shock, because I am nearly always wrong.

August was good to you.

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