the why

I do not look at you and see a man who will take until I am spent.

I do not look at you and see a man who will manipulate, or believe himself to be stronger, smarter, and better than I.

I do not look at you and see a man whose simple way of life forces me into the role of teacher; it too often feels like I’ve created curriculum for how to communicate, how to emote, and how to recognize emotions (I am very, very tired).

I look to you for a place to rest my mind from constant explanation.

I look to you for advice (I say this only about a few).

I look to you and see intelligence, honesty, and passion. I see someone to discuss with, to explore with, to grow with, as an equal.

I have always feared romantic love and personal growth to be mutually exclusive, because this is what I have experienced. I do not have even a shadow of fear about this when I think of being with you.

There are no alarm bells ringing because the words “settling down” do not apply.

For once, staying does not equate to settling.

Staying simply means being present.

Tonight, I cannot think of anything I’d rather do, if only I had not already left.

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